I recently joined this group called GRIT.  It's a group filled with people that work out every day of the week, month, year.  Yes, everyday. Thus the Grit name. The program rolls over every month, so if you fail to get the work done, you are out. No second chances. The point is doing the work even when you don't want to. So you have to wait for the next month to roll over before beginning again.

It's tough. I've completed every month since May when I found it.

Another aspect of the program is that we write every day and share it. Sound daunting? It is until you realize no one cares if it's perfect.

This is my favorite part of the program. It is my time to reflect. The me time I need to get through the daily stresses. Sometimes my writing is good more times it isn't. Regardless, GRIT has helped me, so I decided to share some of the things I've written with you all.  

Here's the context from a few days ago. 

Day of GRIT: #14 of 28 

CONTEXT: “I have endurance..."

I’m having a hard time coming up with what I want to write for this context.  Sometimes I look to others for inspiration.  I read their posts hoping it will jar a memory or spark inspiration. Not tonight though.  

Tonight I’m going to write until I get something I can post.  

That’s what endurance is about.  Doing what you have to even when it is the last damn thing you want to do.  Powering through to the end.  Keeping up the fight until I can reward myself with completion and sleep.

Life itself is all about endurance.  Setting goals, moving from one day to the next.  One situation to the next. Good days pass hardly making a mark.   

Then there are those days that remind me of the Rodney Atkins’ song lyrics, “If you’re going through Hell, keep on moving.  Face that fire, walk right through it.  You might get out before the Devil even knows you’re there.”  

Do you know that one?

I love that song.  It was number one on my playlist when I was going through chemo. I was 28 at the time with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and chemo was hell on earth. If I just kept moving from day to day eventually I’d get through it.  If I stopped, I’d burn up.  The dark thoughts and depression would consume me. There were a few really rough days when that happened.

One day, I spent the night in a hotel room by myself before going to the hospital very early to begin tests to see if my body could handle the chemo. That was a really long night. I couldn't sleep. Anxiety and depression took over. At 2am, there wasn't anyone to call to talk me through.

When I went to the hospital the next day, I broke down as soon as a kind word was spoken to me. Thank goodness for the staff at MD Anderson. They gave me the hugs I needed to make it through that trip. I'll never forget them.

That's an extreme example by far. Since then, I still have days when anxiety nips at my heels, especially during the stresses of life right now. But I keep moving, keep enduring.

Keep up the fight,

Lanay